Things were not quite as they seemed. Word on the street suggested that the owl had somehow enticed a pussycat to join his motley crew. We had to check it out. I mean… an owl and a cat? We've had to deal with much weirder cases. By the time we got to the old oak tree, the owl had already flown the coop. It wasn’t long after that we received a report of a robbery at a nearby liquor store. Police said the two suspects made off with a bag of cash and a crate of honey. We’re working on the theory that the honey was an “impulse” steal given that it was so close to the exit. Their getaway vehicle was thought to be a pea-green boat fitted with two powerful outboard motors. Unfortunately witnesses were unable to remember the licence plate number.
We knew, once word got out about the Owl and the Pussycat, that life in Storyland would, indeed, change dramatically.
My desk was already awash with Missing Person reports when I returned to the office. It was inevitable that the dish would run away with the spoon. We knew where they were headed and trusted in the fact that they would be back in time for breakfast. It may have raised a few eyebrows, perhaps the odd titter as I recall, but we instinctively knew that they were made for each other.
We also had a report of a cow jumping over the moon. Several residents reported seeing a black and white Friesian cow flying above their property. We believe that this may have been a red herring; a ploy used to throw us off the scent as we closed in on a pair of desperado’s who were headed for the state of milk and honey.
State Troopers decided to set up a road block and wait. They had already obtained permission to use force, if necessary, and had issued their officers with Cat Nip spray just in case things got ugly. No one was prepared to tangle with a feral cat high on sugar.
FBI case files were filling by the minute and local sheriffs were looking for a number of suspects including; sheep rustlers who stole a flock of sheep from a Miss Bo Peep. She had already identified B.B. Wooluff (aka Big Bad) as the main suspect. He was wanted in connection with the abduction of Miss Riding Hood (aka Red) and the homicide of her grandmother. Police believe that he may also be responsible for the destruction of two homes belonging to Frank and Ferta Hog, a family of immigrant piglets who owned several properties close to the Wild Wood.
Meanwhile, as the search for the Owl and the Pussycat intensified, State Police reported stopping a vehicle that was being driven erratically and had arrested the driver at the scene. Police later confirmed that they had arrested, and charged, Miss Alice Carroll, a resident of Wonderland, under the Misuse of Drugs Act. Miss Carroll also failed a sobriety test when she kept falling down a hole that appeared at the side of the road. She was also found to be in possession of a bottle labelled “Grow Bigger” that prosecutors now allege to be a formula to increase the yield of home-grown leaf plants thought to be cannabis.
A search of her home failed to uncover any drugs. They did, however, manage to arrest several other “characters” that implicated Miss Carroll as being the ringleader. These included a Mad Hatter, a well-known hood from Chicago, a large white rabbit and a dormouse that appeared to be sedated. Arrests also included the owner of the Queen of Hearts nightclub for illegal gambling and for running a house of ill-repute. All deny the charges.
Prosecutors said that further indictments could soon follow that allege:
- Using upturned flamingos as golf clubs. (A violation listed under the Mistreatment of Animals Act)
- Multiple homicides following the discovery of numerous headless bodies.
- Money Laundering following the discovery of huge quantities of cash in what appeared to be a "counting" house.
- The theft of several jam tarts. This charge is still pending in the hope that a culprit can be found.
The case continues.
Police investigating the robbery of a liquor store by an owl and feral cat today confirmed that two bodies, found floating close to the Louisiana coastline, are thought to be the two suspects they were hunting.
Police believe that the pair fled the scene of the robbery in the high-powered boat shortly before it was reported stolen from a nearby marina. ‘We notified the Coastguard and State Police to be on alert for the boat, described as being pea-green in color,’ the local Sheriff’s department revealed. ‘But the craft remained unsighted until it was found abandoned close to a popular fishing spot. This must have been one heck of a ride for two desperados who had little idea as to the concept of sailing, let alone have any knowledge of navigation and boat craft.’
A Louisiana State Trooper later confirmed that a bag of money had been found with the boat, along with a large quantity of high-grade honey.
To Be Continued